The Phantom of the Greenroom
by Deep Roller
Summary: A scene my good friend and I dreamed up one late night. What happens when an actor takes his role as the Phantom *too* seriously? Alot of crazy stuff! Supposed to be lighthearted and funny, and it's performable, too! I thought so, anyway. Special guest wr


The Phantom of the Greenroom  
  
By Deep Roller and Chicken Goddess  
  
  
A/N: There is history to what I'm about to write for you, deep history. We must go back to last summer, and a late night on the phone. I was talking to my good friend CG, because I wanted to do something Phantom for the school year. And we dreamed up this crazy plot idea centering on one thought. What if some guy became SO wrapped up in his role that he actually believed he was the Phantom? Well, that got our minds going. Lo and behold, when school began, the annual theater competition called for student original work. Our chance came. And so ANOTHER late night ensued, and we came up with what I will write shortly. We auditioned it, and made it, and competed. And when we came home, we preformed it again, with our friend Heather in my Phantom mask and an old vampire cape. I do hope you enjoy this, it's one of my brainchildren. Liz, since it isn't the only part mentioned, is Madame Giry in the play.  
  
Disclaimer: No, Phantom isn't mine, but these characters sure are.  
  
  
Scene:  
  
(Backstage during a performance of Phantom of the Opera. Rachel is pacing and warming up her voice, getting ready to go on, and so forth.)  
  
Liz: (enters) So how are you doing kid? Everything going okay so far?  
  
Rachel: (jumps three miles high) Whoah! Oh, yeah, hi Liz. Oh, everything's going good. The cast has been really nice to me and everything.   
  
Liz: Good, good.  
  
Rachel: (after a moment) Yeah, I've been getting along with everyone really well. Everyone except....Darrel.  
  
Liz: (suddenly concerned) What did he say to you?  
  
Rachel: It's not so much what he said, it was what he did.  
  
Liz: (grips Rachel's arm and looks alarmed/angry) What did he do to you?!  
  
Rachel: Well, it was right after last night's performance. I had just finished interviews and curtain call and all, and I was going to my dressing room to change, when I noticed the stage mirror, right smack against my wall.   
  
Liz: (is a bit puzzled) Well, that's not unusual, they sometimes need space for props...but what exactly does that have to do with Darrel?  
  
Rachel: Just wait. Well, I noticed some flowers on my dresser, and I guessed they were from my boyfriend Enrique. So, I went over to read the card when...Darrel popped out of my closet.  
  
Liz: (blinks a minute) Oh, whew. And I thought it was something bad.  
  
Rachel: (looks confused and tries again) Darrel popped out of my CLOSET.  
  
Liz: Your point?  
  
Rachel: (trying to make Liz understand, goes over to her slowly and enunciates) Darrel....POPPED....out...of...MY....closet.  
  
Liz: And then what happened?  
  
Rachel: (shakes head for a moment and then goes on) Well, then he began raving that I was his Angel of Music, and then he tried to pull me through the mirror, you know, like in the play? He was in complete costume. Mask, cape, the works.  
  
Liz: (nods like she hears it every day) Uh huh. So what next?  
  
Rachel: (finds something not quite right about this, but keeps going) Well, he ran into the mirror, smacked it, cracked it, and fell unconscious. There I was with a knocked out actor on the floor, and our stage mirror in about sixty bazillion little pieces. I was so scared that I ran and got the stage manager. He acted like it was nothing new, just dragged Darrel back to his own room by his ankles, and then cleaned up the mirror. SO I was thinking to myself...(moves closer and lowers voice) is Darrel an alcoholic? Does he need....help?  
  
Liz: (chuckles) He's not an alcoholic, sweetie, but he DOES need help. Though from where, heaven knows. And don't worry about the stage mirror, we have eighteen more.   
  
Rachel: Okayyy (looks disturbed)  
  
Liz: See, Darrel is what we like to call...umm....how can this be put nicely? A method actor. He thinks he's whoever he plays, and apparently, he's the Phantom. Oh, see? (gestures to Darrel, who has taken his place during this conversation and is standing quietly a ways away from the girls in full costume, just glaring.)  
Rachel: (jumps another mile) Aughh! (runs and hides behind Liz, looking out at Darrel.) S-s-should we say hi to him?  
  
Liz: (looks from shaking Rachel to glaring Darrel, and back a few times.) Nah. He doesn't like me, because I might reveal the location of his (voice gets louder and more playful) hidden underground lair.  
  
Darrel: (hisses loudly)  
  
Liz: (storms up to him) Alright that's it! OUT! GET out! (points as she moves, making Darrel curl into himself and whirl away with a sad puppy dog look as he runs. once he leaves, Liz looks up at a T.V. screen and turns to Rachel) And that's my cue to be onstage. Now, there a couple of rules you must follow when dealing with Darrel in "actor mode". (numbering them off as she speaks) One- don't play along with him unless you have to. Two-don't play along with him when you're alone with him. Three-Don't look into his eyes! (gives Rachel a shake) Got that? Don't do it! (looks stern and then looks back up at the T.V.) Good luck! (merrily) You're on your own! Remember! (walks off)  
  
Rachel: Wait! Liz! Wait....(takes deep breaths and begins to count off and recite the rules quietly. Meanwhile, Darrel sneaks up behind her unnoticed and then grabs her quickly, spinning her around to face him)  
  
Darrel: Alone at last, my Angel of Music!  
  
Rachel: (REALLY nervous and begins to struggle) H-h-hi Darrel...I've got stuff to do, so could you please just let me-  
  
Darrel: Come! We shall sing! You shall sing for me. (begins to drag her away by the wrist, unheeding to her struggles)  
  
Rachel: Darrel....Darrel! Let me go! Let me go! (finally pulls away) I have a boyfriend you know!  
  
Darrel: (halts and stares at her with narrowed eyes) That swine that sent you flowers?  
  
Rachel: Hel-lo! Yes! The dressing room, remember?!  
  
Darrel: (blinks, and thinks this over for a moment before taking her wrist again) But you are with me now. Come, we shall go. Come. I shall teach you to sing. (proceeds to drag an ever protesting Rachel until Liz enters)  
  
Liz: (under breath) Oh no, not again...(louder) Darrel!! (Darrel spins Rachel into him, so he is holding her across the collar bone with one arm) Let her go.  
  
Darrel: (looks very offended) Darrel? Who is this Darrel? I am not Darrel!  
  
Liz: (takes a deep breath) Sorry. Phantom. Let. Her. Go.  
  
Darrel: (thinks very VERY hard before speaking again, hesitant.) No?  
  
Liz: Darn! That usually works!  
  
Rachel: (is extremely terrified by now) Liz! Liz! You gotta help me! He's a crazy psycho! Help!  
  
Liz: Let me think, let me think! (gets an idea and stands on her tiptoes before speaking dramatically) Wait! I think I hear...yes...the mob! (Darrel looks alarmed)  
  
Rachel: Yes, the mob!  
  
Darrel: (spins Rachel out of his grasp, but still holds her hand) Until we meet again my Angel! (kisses Rachel's hand before dashing offstage)  
  
Rachel: That was...really scary...I need to...cue! Cue! (is shaking badly)  
  
Liz: Yes, a cue, go on now, girl, go on. (soothingly ushers Rachel onstage. When everyone is gone, she sighs and leans against a chair.) I wonder why I even stay here still, crazy actors and... (suddenly Darrel dashes back in, covering his face, sobbing, and screaming.)  
  
Darrel: Heathens! You will rue the day you crossed the Phantom! RUE IT!! (Liz looks at him, rolls her eyes, and then casually saunters over)   
  
Liz: Awww....did the mean old stage manager take your mask? (With face still covered, Darrel nods emphatically) Well...(bends down beside Darrel and says confidingly as she helps him up) There's a mask in the prop closet. (dramatically)Hide your hideous countenance from society, (cheerfully) but don't run into anything sharp, okay? (begins to shove him toward the prop closet) Good little Phantom! Christine will be very proud of you!  
  
Rachel: Liz, I can't do this, I can't do this...(is very shaken)  
  
Liz: You, sit. (helps her to a chair and sits down beside her)  
  
Rachel: This is my first major production, my first big role! I can't work like this! What'm I gonna do?  
  
Liz: Oh, relax sweetie. You learn to deal with Darrel early. Last time we did Peter Pan. Darrel was Captain Hook, and by the end of the show's run, he had tried to make everyone walk the plank.  
  
Rachel: (looks a little sick) No wonder no one else auditioned to be Christine.  
  
Liz: Yeah, I should have told you, but hey...  
  
Darrel: (runs in and gets down on one knee beside Rachel, his mask back on) One last plea for your heart, Christine! (Rachel looks at Liz as though to say "what now?" as Darrel gazes plaintively and adoringly at Rachel)  
  
Liz: She can't go with you Phantom. She has to go to the cast party. (Darrel looks blank. Liz rolls her eyes and grumbles) Jeez, I forgot. Masquerade.   
  
Darrel: (looks happy and pulls Rachel to her feet with enthusiasm) We shall go! I will escort!  
  
Rachel: (sighs and just goes with it for once) Darrel....(Darrel looks angry and moves a step back) Phantom....(Darrel looks incredibly happy and moves two steps too close, taking hold of her hands in the process) I'd love to go with you. But (looks pointedly at Liz, trying to gesture to the Exit as she's talking) who's car should we take? Mines (gestures grow more urgent) closer.  
  
Liz: (prying Rachel from Darrel's grasp) Yours is closer, but my car's Darrel proof. C'mon, run! (gets her free and yanks her offstage)  
  
Darrel: (dashing after them) Come back my Angel of Music!!!  
  
SCENE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
This scene was no great shakes in competition, but the Variety Night audiences loved it. It's really hard to keep a straight face when doing it, but it can be performed sans costumes. All it takes is a little imagination. It was my way of bringing the Phantom to our town and bringing my own twist to the story. Has anyone ever met a person like Darrel? We were planning on adding more to this scene, but this is all we have for now. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed writing and performing it! 


End file.
